Cycle 15, Episode 7: Francesco Carrozzini

The girls headed to The Grammy Museum in downtown L.A. where they learned one of them would be chosen to be a "Grammy Girl."  During this week's photo shoot, the models portrayed iconic fashion designers for photographer Francesco Carrozzini, who was also this week's guest judge.

Happy Trails to You!
ReRun (Kacey) was just sent home, and the girls were openly stoked!  Looks like ANTM Tyra Rule #5 was diligently enforced: The Bitch Never Wins.

"I'm so happy Kacey got sent home. She was not trustworthy and I don't like people like that.  She came and hugged everybody. I gave her a handshake or whatever. And that was it." – Mo' Chocolate (Kendal)

A couple of the girls even get 'dem hands up and high five! Bye bye, biotch!!

Challenge: Grammy Girl"She and I have very different cup sizes. I have no idea what 'G' boobs--or any boobs--are like."
The ladies found themselves at the Grammy Museum and some old white CEO dude told them this week's challenge winner would hand out an award onstage at the upcoming Grammy awards.  The girls instantly scream in delight at the notion of becoming a "Grammy girl."  Denise Huxtable (Liz) even starts crying ecstatically. Say wha'?  If I were there, I'd pout.  I wouldn't want to be labeled a Grammy girl – WTF!?  I thought this was a high fashion competition, yo.

The girls pair up and learn this week's challenge is to pick out an outfit for the Grammies.  The twist?  They must select said outfit for their partner – not themselves.  Oh, and did I mention they only had ten minutes, the other person wouldn't be there, and they had to find shoes & jewelry too? Sounds like fun!

Most of the girls tried to get something to please  their partner. Not Mop Top (Kayla)!  Instead, she decided her team needed to stand out.  She made an executive decision and completely ignored her partner's instructions:

"I'm nodding my head saying 'Yeah, I'll get that for you.' And I had no intention of ever getting that for her. I'm thinking to myself, if I bring punk rock to the table, Liz and I will stand out among all the other girls.  I went completely against what she said and I got her pants.  She better rock it like it's a ball gown!” – Mop Top (Kayla)

 

Take Notes Y'All
During the challenge, we witnessed a Tyra lesson in the making: Take What You Got and Rock It.  Casper (Chelsey) complained profusely about the gown that Giraffe (Ann) had selected because it was 10--yes TEN--sizes too big.  Big mistake. This is ANTM, child, so even if you're naked except for a ring, you must take what you got and rock it! You don't know what the outcome will be, so if you give yourself a fighting chance, you may end up coming out ahead! These are Tyra's Rules and it's vital to obey the Laws of the Land. 

Unfortunately, our ghostly model had a hard time remembering the lesson Tyra doled out at Mop Top (Kayla) the week prior when she exiled her to the Bottom 2 for complaining about her shoes being too tight. Rather than thinking about the Unspoken Model Rules to Live By, our droopily-dressed maiden made a huge gaffe and complained in front of the judges:

Mr. J:   Chelsey, why are you clutching the dress?

C:    Um, it's because I'm not sure if I'm wearing it correctly.  If I let it go, there's one seam going this way and I'm honestly not sure if I'm wearing it right.

J:    Here's the thing, though, when you're walking in front of a group of people and the garment's already on you, the best thing that you could possibly do is sell us what you're wearing, the way you’re wearing it with confidence.

Seriously, girl! Take a note from Maria in the Sound of Music and have some confidence!  The dress actually looked good, despite her bitchin'.  In fact, she and Giraffe (Ann) looked the most Grammy-appropriate of all the pairs.  However, I think the judges didn't select the team, in part, because of Casper’s (Chelsey’s) poor attitude.

Challenge Winner
Mop Top (Kayla) ended up winning because she brought the most personality. Looks like she recovered from her scrape against the bottom last week. "All it did was motivate me to be better," she said of her fall from grace.

The only issue I have with this challenge is that there seems to be no point having the models pick out clothes for their partners.  The girl who chose the winning outfit didn't earn any brownie points.  So why even try to give your partner a bomb ass look in the first place?  There was no incentive for picking out a red carpet outfit, just as there was no punishment for picking out a "What Were They Thinking?!" look.

Denise Huxtable (Liz) was upset for not being the chosen Grammy Girl. After all, she was the only one in sequined pants!  So, to nurse her wounds, she looked to alchohol! Antics ensued.  Some girls got jealous because they were stone cold sober.  As the first official alcohol-inspired moment on Cycle 15, can I just say: FINALLY!!!  Look, if the girls drank a lil’ more, they would cat fight less.  Loosen up, ladies! This is a competition, but it's also a once in a lifetime opportunity that should be enjoyed to the fullest. Cheers!

Photo Shoot
The ladies were transformed into iconic fashion designers in this week's photo shoot with Francesco Carrozzini.  Each aspiring model posed with a professional model who wore the fashions of the designers they portrayed.  Featured designers included Vivienne Westwood, Marc Jacobs, Carolina Herrera, Alexander Wang, John Galliano, Betsey Johnson, Vera Wang, and Christophe Decarnin (House of Balmain).

   

The fabulous photoshoot styling was brought to you by industry pro, Rushka Bergman, an odd-looking Serbian fashion stylist who commanded respect.  Turns out she is the contributing fashion editor for Vogue Italia. I’m sure editor-in-chief, Franca Sozzani, will be asking her opinion on the models when it comes down to selecting who should be America’s Next Top Model.  It’s interesting seeing how Vogue Italia is subtly pre-screening the aspiring models week after week by infiltrating ANTM with their army of photographers, stylists, make-up artists, designers, and lieutenant generals.  They clearly don’t want just any hack on their cover.

This photo shoot was extremely entertaining to watch. The ladies really were transformed through costuming and make-up to closely resemble the famous designers. Good job, Rushka!  It was also fun listening to Francesco Carrozzini and his HOTT accent! Quanto mi piace gli italiani!!

Best Quotes From the Shoot

"Miss Betsey is just like me!! She's crazy; she's kooky; she's cool; she's spunky! Does that not fit me?" -- Serena (Chris) on portraying designer Betsey Johnson.

"You're a dude! You're a guy! Come on!!"  -- Francesco Carrozzini yelled to Chester (Esther) during her not so hot shoot.

Best Photo
A complete upset!! Denise Huxtable (Liz) knocks out Giraffe (Ann) and takes home best photo this week! WOW!!  Someone finally broke Ann’s streak.  Even though she couldn’t be a Grammy Girl, Denise Huxtable (Liz) has something to be proud of.  This accomplishment is going down in ANTM Statistician books everywhere!

You could tell from the critiques Denise Huxtable (Liz) received during the photo shoot, that everyone loved her performance as John Galliano:

"She became John Galliano. It was frightening because I know John, and it felt like he was in the room.  She really stepped up her game today. I just wish she knew who John Galliano was!" – Mr. J

During panel, the judges 'ooh'-ed and 'ahh'-ed over their female John Galliano impersonator.  Denise Huxtable (Liz) was told she looked like a man and liked it:

"It's a brilliant choice for you.  You absolutely caught the essence of his body gestures and the subtleties of that whole theatricality. You look like a man!" – Andre Leon Talley

"You definitely have the gift of androgyny.  There's a beautiful sexuality, a sensuality, and a strength that your bone structure leans toward that I think you should really [explore].  There's something there that is magical." – Tyra

Bottom 2
Tyra warned the contestants: "There's a big chance that the girl [who] goes home today is the girl who didn't know who the designer was."  That's total bullshit because Denise Huxtable (Liz) didn't know who John Galliano was at ALL, and she got best photo. It's more like: "There's a big chance that the girl who goes home today is the girl who took the shittiest photo – according to four people."

In the end, the Bottom 2 came down to: Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) and Chester (Esther).  Chester (Esther) started out weak in the competition but grew over time. However, the judges felt she was consistently only bringing one look. Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) had so much potential as a model, but wasn't bringing it to the set.

And the Loser Is...
Mo' Chocolate (Kendal). Oh! Didn't see that one coming!  I only started getting really worried for the Danielle Evans Cycle 6 look-alike during the photo shoot.  And, we've got to admit, she did terribly.  She got stuck in her head because she didn't know the designer:

"How can I portray a person I don't know?" -- Mo' Chocolate questioned after learning her designer was Vera Wang. 

Unable to bring any kind of expression to her face, Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) started to crash and burn.  Same Face.  Dead Eyes. No Expression. Not the kind of labels you want.  Mr. J criticized her during the shoot, saying that her expressions were registering as "blank".   

"It was just flat. Boring. And I don't think Kendal is passionate about being here." -- Mr J

Uh-oh. Talk about The Kiss of Death!!  At this point, the cards were all out.  Like thunderclaps signaling the approach of lightening, Mr. J's words echoed across the set--nay, across our very souls--warning of the imminent demise of Mo' Chocolate (Kendal).

 

During panel, Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) was accused of giving up -- another Kiss of Death:

"Kendal was not taking direction well in her body. I felt [she was] very nervous.  The idea that [she] gave me was that [she was] not trying hard enough. Because [she's] very beautiful, and it looked like, 'I'm beautiful, I'm just going to show up in front of the camera.'"
– Francesco Carrozzini  

No mo' chocolate.

It could have been her ignorance of the fashion industry that ultimately sent her home. Or perhaps it was something far simpler:

"My fear is that you are the noun not the verb. So, you were born a 'model', but you are not
'model-ing.'" – Tyra

"Kendal's problem isn't the fact that she was playing someone of the opposite race; it's the fact that she's simply not modeling." – Nigel

And so, with the flip of a photo, Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) was sent home. Tyra's parting advice was to practice taking photos with friends who could really push her farther.

"Tyra told me to practice, but...I just don't know what I’m gonna do." – Mo' Chocolate (Kendal)

Look, darling, we can't make it any clearer: you should practice!!

To Be Deeply Concerned About
Chester (Esther)

Strike 1: Labeled as having “one look.”

Strike 2:  Bottom 2 this week and has been on a downhill trajectory lately.

Strike 3: Nigel began the "she's a beautiful girl, but is she a model?" questioning. This never is a good road to go down.

Strike 4: She failed so bad this week that Tyra impersonated her fugly photo [right].

Blockhead (Jane)

Strike 1: Not posing H2T.  The judges tend to like the expressions on her face, but note her inability to connect to her body.

Strike 2: Doesn't know fashion designers.  "A Princeton girl who hasn't done her homework??" [cue shock and horror.]

Strike 3: Fell into the Bottom 3 this week and was in the Bottom 2 just two weeks ago.

Serena (Chris)

Strike 1: Still fighting the "too commercial" label from last week. However, next week is the CoverGirl commercial, so maybe this perceived detriment will end up playing in her favor?

Strike 2: Andre Leon Talley began the "is she a model?" questioning. Never good.

Chelsey (Casper)

Strike 1: "She doesn’t look like a model to me.”

Strike 2: Something terrible.

Strike 3: Something even worse.

Final Thoughts: But Are You 'Really' Qualified?
Just as we began the episode with Chelsey (Casper) needing a lesson on taking what you've got and using it to your advantage, we close with the judges needing to stop questioning whether or not the models are "really models." What's with the judges questioning half the cast?  "I like such-and-such about her, but is she really a model?" They must be suffering from I-Can't-Tell-a-Model-from-a-College-Chick-Syndrome.

Get it together judges! You picked these ladies out two months ago and it's now you're wondering about the ladies playing the part? Come on! Don't dick us around! At least pretend like they are mere "catalog models", too commercial and lowly to be considered for this high fashion gig.  That's an easier pill to swallow. Until now, your loyal viewers have been rooting for our favorite aspiring models, imagining them on the cover of Vogue Italia.  Now--now?!?--you want us to question whether half the lot is really only capable of modeling for J-14.  Look, if 50% of the models are "not really models," why not just ditch half and make it more fun? Let's have a quadruple elimination in one episode! Yeah!! ...But just don't send home my gambling model picks!