Cycle 15, Episode 9: Margherita Missoni

Summary
The contestants travel from Venice, California to Venezia, Italia! They pause briefly for a group photo shoot in a gondola with the historic Rialto Bridge as the backdrop, then dash over Milano for this week's challenge: a fitting with Missoni. This week's guest judge is Margherita Missoni.

Andiamo!
Ms. Jay leads the girls through the streets of Venice on beach cruisers to see more of the city. But, we all know there must be a twist – there’s no sightseeing in fashion! He slyly tells the contestants they have arrived at the location of their "next photo shoot" and that they will have to dive off the bridge and swim into the lagoon for the photo. But guess WHAT?!  Tyra shows up gliding toward the bridge in a gondola and announces the girls actually will be going to Venezia, Italia!!! Ciao belle!!  They return to their beach house to pack their bags. 

Benvenuti Raggazze!
The ladies deplane in Italia and note the sweltering heat. They must have arrived during the summer, possibly August, when most Italians spend the month of ferrie (vacation) at beach resorts to escape the heat. In their gorgeous new hotel room, the ladies prepare a champagne toast (cin-cin! salute!) out on their balcony. Suddenly, a bird takes a shit on Denise Huxtable's (Liz's) arm and Blockhead's (Jane's) hair!! (cue laugh track)
 

Denise Huxtable (Liz) reverts to her usual ways and complains profusely about getting shit on.  In doing so, Casper (Chelsey) gets pissed off at her constant complaining. Trust, me – she ain't the only one! After all, this is exactly why I traded her out of my model gambling picks. Blockhead (Jane) doesn't complain about the shit in her hair, she just takes it in stride.  Somehow, though, the entire incident seemed rather ominous. Did the bird know something we didn't??

Photo Shoot: Simone Falcetta
The models head through the twisting streets of Venezia to their photo shoot location near the iconic Rialto Bridge in Venezia. Mr. Jay explains they will be doing a high fashion period editorial with photographer Simone Falcetta. They are divided into groups of three and must pose as high society women trying to woo their Casanova while on a romantic gondola ride.

The girls have mixed emotions about the shoot. One side of the spectrum sits Mop Top (Kayla) who is immediately nervous about portraying romance with a male model. She suffered last week in the CoverGirl commercial on the same task and is determined to improve this week. On the other side is Serena (Chris) who is immediately comfortable with Casanova:

"He's one handsome, beautiful, big-nosed Italian man! He is handsome, mmm hmm! He is HAND-some!! Oh! I wouldn't mind me bringin' him home, honey!"

    

Many of the contestants express how it's their time to step it up and why they have the edge on everyone else. With everything on the line, the girls boldly board their gondola and vie for the attention of not just Casanova but the judges as well!

Group 1: Mop Top (Kayla), Serena (Chris), Denise Huxtable (Liz)  

Denise Huxtable (Liz) complains right off the bat this week. Once again, Mr. Jay is not happy with her performance.  Casper (Chelsey) is also irritated, commenting: "In this industry, I don't think complaining is tolerated—at all."
 

Mop Top (Kayla) did awesome. She was comfortable immediately and really present during the shoot. You could see her smizing and getting into character.

 Serena (Chris) is still fighting her "Teen Vogue" / "too commercial" label.

"As the shoot progressed, Chris became more and more awkward, so she lost her performance." – Mr. Jay

"I know Chris for being goofy and funny. I felt like she may have done a mediocre job on her photo shoot. Chris is not high fashion." – Mop Top (Kayla)

Group 2: Giraffe (Ann), Casper (Chesley), Blockhead (Jane)

Casper (Chelsey) believes that because she is "older" (she's only 23 for christ's sake!!), this competition is her last chance at a modeling career. She really wants to step it up this week and claim top photo. She did well, but was a bit forgettable.

Giraffe (Ann) has been progressing with her confidence with the other girls. She is more comfortable being herself around them: "She is growing not only in modeling, but as a person." – Mop Top (Kayla)  However, this naturalness has not carried over to the set. She hasn't brought a level of confidence and control to her photo shoot. She is on really shaky ground and might fall off soon. The amazing thing is, she still has it in her hands to control, but she doesn't even seem to realize this.

 “Ann, you look petrified." – Mr. Jay

"You know, Ann was the break-out star at the beginning of this competition. But as we're moving forward week to week, I'm starting to feel that Ann is losing her confidence. She didn't look comfortable in today's photo shoot. ... If you're not comfortable with whoever is around you, you're not going to sell anyone that photograph.” – Mr. Jay

Blockhead (Jane) made it believable and impressed Mr. Jay: "Jane, I love this! This is the best I've seen you!"  I think part of why Blockhead (Jane) did so well was because she didn't need to pose H2T, just H2Waist. Her face is stunning. Even if she doesn't win this competition, she can definitely continue in modeling. Tyra might give her the ol', "you can be a face model" schtick.

"Jane had the difficult position of working behind Mario, Chelsey and Ann, so she had her own private little moment and she made it so believable! I felt with Jane that I was looking back in time." – Mr. Jay

Una Missione per Vedere Missoni
The girls jetset from  Venezia to Milano, internationally recognized fashion and design capital, home of IMG Model Management, Vogue Italia, and designer brands, such as Valentino, Gucci, Versace, Prada, Armani, Dolce & Gabbana, and Missoni.

The ladies make a quick stop to their new pad in Milano and quickly realize it's not a mansion. Wah-wah. Get over it. Tyra set them up to have a more realistic model house that they would stay at if booked through an agency.

"It's nice. It ain't all that." – Serena (Chris)

Tyra surprises the contestants in their pad and tells them their next challenge will be to head to fashion house Missoni for a fitting. Missoni is famous for its unique knitwear, made from a variety of fabrics in colorful patterns.

The ladies don the Missoni winter clothing line in sweltering August heat and must walk for Creative Director of Maison Missoni, Angela Missoni, her daughter, Margherita Missoni, and Ms. Jay. Combine the lack of air conditioners with thick winter knits and this was a recipe for Casper (Chelsey) to nearly pass out. The overheating theme would continue into juding.

Judging & Elimination
This week’s guest judge is Margherita Missoni. This girl has some rep in the industry. Not only is she Angela Missoni’s daughter, she is the brand ambassador, the accessory designer, the heiress to the brand, the unofficial "muse" of the collection, an IMG model, the face of the Missoni perfumes, and she is now studying in New York to be an actress. DAMN! And she's only 27! DAMN!!

The best part about the elimination ceremony was the fact that the girls became so overheated in their knitwear that a few of them almost passed out! It really showed how much the industry expects the models to just suck it up and deal with the conditions, no matter how adverse.

Best Photo
Mop Top (Kayla) steals it this week! Finally! Our girl takes first place! YES!!! She accomplished her goal of stepping up after last week's trouble with a male model. This week she delivers a pose that is believable and the judges love it!

"Her eyes are just so present. She gets my vote!" – Margherita Missoni

 

Runner Up: Blockhead (Jane). We gotta give props to this girl because she deserves it!

Bottom 2
Will Serena (Chris) and Denise Huxtable (Liz) please step forward? Two lovely ladies stand before me, but I only have one photo in my hand, and this photo represents the girl who will continue on in the hopes of becoming America’s Next Top Model. I'll only call one name. And the girl that I do not call must immediately return to her home here in Milano, pack her bags, and go home.

Serena (Chris) has an effervescent personality, but her photos do not shine and sparkle as much as she does. Denise Huxtable (Liz) has gorgeous bone structure and strong androgyny that the judges love. But the judges also agree she makes too many excuses.

And The Loser Is…
Denise Huxtable (Liz) gets her ass handed to her this week. C'mon, was it really that much of a shocker? Once Tyra is telling you to correct something for the 3^rd time, you're out the door, sweetheart.

She didn't know the industry: "I don't know who John Galliano is."

She didn't even know geography very well:

“Instantly when I hear Milan I think Mulan. You know, Japan, dragons... I don't even know where my mind was at.”

Bottom line: Make excuses for a poor performance and you will be excusing yourself out the door. 

Mop Top (Kayla) called it this week: "One mistake can send you home." Amen, girl. Truer words were never spoken.

"I find [her pose] a little bit vulgar."– Margherita Missoni

“Why is she standing like that anyway? It looks like a whole universe between her legs and—nmm nmmm!" – Andre Leon Talley

For Whom The Bell Tolls
Giraffe (Ann)  

Strike 1: Bottom 3

Strike 2: "The judges feel you are shrinking. You need to perform well even when you are not at the top of the pack. But something needs to happen because you're slipping." – Tyra

Best Quote
"I could definitely get used to living a fabulous life. I'm gay; that's what we're used to!" – Mop Top (Kayla)

 
What We Learned

1. Blockhead (Jane) was a European history major at Princeton.
2.  Milan is full up with fashion! (Valentino, Gucci, Versace, Prada, Armani, Dolce & Gabbana, Missoni!)
3. Margherita Missoni is the shit! 

Cycle 15, Episode 7: Francesco Carrozzini

The girls headed to The Grammy Museum in downtown L.A. where they learned one of them would be chosen to be a "Grammy Girl."  During this week's photo shoot, the models portrayed iconic fashion designers for photographer Francesco Carrozzini, who was also this week's guest judge.

Happy Trails to You!
ReRun (Kacey) was just sent home, and the girls were openly stoked!  Looks like ANTM Tyra Rule #5 was diligently enforced: The Bitch Never Wins.

"I'm so happy Kacey got sent home. She was not trustworthy and I don't like people like that.  She came and hugged everybody. I gave her a handshake or whatever. And that was it." – Mo' Chocolate (Kendal)

A couple of the girls even get 'dem hands up and high five! Bye bye, biotch!!

Challenge: Grammy Girl"She and I have very different cup sizes. I have no idea what 'G' boobs--or any boobs--are like."
The ladies found themselves at the Grammy Museum and some old white CEO dude told them this week's challenge winner would hand out an award onstage at the upcoming Grammy awards.  The girls instantly scream in delight at the notion of becoming a "Grammy girl."  Denise Huxtable (Liz) even starts crying ecstatically. Say wha'?  If I were there, I'd pout.  I wouldn't want to be labeled a Grammy girl – WTF!?  I thought this was a high fashion competition, yo.

The girls pair up and learn this week's challenge is to pick out an outfit for the Grammies.  The twist?  They must select said outfit for their partner – not themselves.  Oh, and did I mention they only had ten minutes, the other person wouldn't be there, and they had to find shoes & jewelry too? Sounds like fun!

Most of the girls tried to get something to please  their partner. Not Mop Top (Kayla)!  Instead, she decided her team needed to stand out.  She made an executive decision and completely ignored her partner's instructions:

"I'm nodding my head saying 'Yeah, I'll get that for you.' And I had no intention of ever getting that for her. I'm thinking to myself, if I bring punk rock to the table, Liz and I will stand out among all the other girls.  I went completely against what she said and I got her pants.  She better rock it like it's a ball gown!” – Mop Top (Kayla)

 

Take Notes Y'All
During the challenge, we witnessed a Tyra lesson in the making: Take What You Got and Rock It.  Casper (Chelsey) complained profusely about the gown that Giraffe (Ann) had selected because it was 10--yes TEN--sizes too big.  Big mistake. This is ANTM, child, so even if you're naked except for a ring, you must take what you got and rock it! You don't know what the outcome will be, so if you give yourself a fighting chance, you may end up coming out ahead! These are Tyra's Rules and it's vital to obey the Laws of the Land. 

Unfortunately, our ghostly model had a hard time remembering the lesson Tyra doled out at Mop Top (Kayla) the week prior when she exiled her to the Bottom 2 for complaining about her shoes being too tight. Rather than thinking about the Unspoken Model Rules to Live By, our droopily-dressed maiden made a huge gaffe and complained in front of the judges:

Mr. J:   Chelsey, why are you clutching the dress?

C:    Um, it's because I'm not sure if I'm wearing it correctly.  If I let it go, there's one seam going this way and I'm honestly not sure if I'm wearing it right.

J:    Here's the thing, though, when you're walking in front of a group of people and the garment's already on you, the best thing that you could possibly do is sell us what you're wearing, the way you’re wearing it with confidence.

Seriously, girl! Take a note from Maria in the Sound of Music and have some confidence!  The dress actually looked good, despite her bitchin'.  In fact, she and Giraffe (Ann) looked the most Grammy-appropriate of all the pairs.  However, I think the judges didn't select the team, in part, because of Casper’s (Chelsey’s) poor attitude.

Challenge Winner
Mop Top (Kayla) ended up winning because she brought the most personality. Looks like she recovered from her scrape against the bottom last week. "All it did was motivate me to be better," she said of her fall from grace.

The only issue I have with this challenge is that there seems to be no point having the models pick out clothes for their partners.  The girl who chose the winning outfit didn't earn any brownie points.  So why even try to give your partner a bomb ass look in the first place?  There was no incentive for picking out a red carpet outfit, just as there was no punishment for picking out a "What Were They Thinking?!" look.

Denise Huxtable (Liz) was upset for not being the chosen Grammy Girl. After all, she was the only one in sequined pants!  So, to nurse her wounds, she looked to alchohol! Antics ensued.  Some girls got jealous because they were stone cold sober.  As the first official alcohol-inspired moment on Cycle 15, can I just say: FINALLY!!!  Look, if the girls drank a lil’ more, they would cat fight less.  Loosen up, ladies! This is a competition, but it's also a once in a lifetime opportunity that should be enjoyed to the fullest. Cheers!

Photo Shoot
The ladies were transformed into iconic fashion designers in this week's photo shoot with Francesco Carrozzini.  Each aspiring model posed with a professional model who wore the fashions of the designers they portrayed.  Featured designers included Vivienne Westwood, Marc Jacobs, Carolina Herrera, Alexander Wang, John Galliano, Betsey Johnson, Vera Wang, and Christophe Decarnin (House of Balmain).

   

The fabulous photoshoot styling was brought to you by industry pro, Rushka Bergman, an odd-looking Serbian fashion stylist who commanded respect.  Turns out she is the contributing fashion editor for Vogue Italia. I’m sure editor-in-chief, Franca Sozzani, will be asking her opinion on the models when it comes down to selecting who should be America’s Next Top Model.  It’s interesting seeing how Vogue Italia is subtly pre-screening the aspiring models week after week by infiltrating ANTM with their army of photographers, stylists, make-up artists, designers, and lieutenant generals.  They clearly don’t want just any hack on their cover.

This photo shoot was extremely entertaining to watch. The ladies really were transformed through costuming and make-up to closely resemble the famous designers. Good job, Rushka!  It was also fun listening to Francesco Carrozzini and his HOTT accent! Quanto mi piace gli italiani!!

Best Quotes From the Shoot

"Miss Betsey is just like me!! She's crazy; she's kooky; she's cool; she's spunky! Does that not fit me?" -- Serena (Chris) on portraying designer Betsey Johnson.

"You're a dude! You're a guy! Come on!!"  -- Francesco Carrozzini yelled to Chester (Esther) during her not so hot shoot.

Best Photo
A complete upset!! Denise Huxtable (Liz) knocks out Giraffe (Ann) and takes home best photo this week! WOW!!  Someone finally broke Ann’s streak.  Even though she couldn’t be a Grammy Girl, Denise Huxtable (Liz) has something to be proud of.  This accomplishment is going down in ANTM Statistician books everywhere!

You could tell from the critiques Denise Huxtable (Liz) received during the photo shoot, that everyone loved her performance as John Galliano:

"She became John Galliano. It was frightening because I know John, and it felt like he was in the room.  She really stepped up her game today. I just wish she knew who John Galliano was!" – Mr. J

During panel, the judges 'ooh'-ed and 'ahh'-ed over their female John Galliano impersonator.  Denise Huxtable (Liz) was told she looked like a man and liked it:

"It's a brilliant choice for you.  You absolutely caught the essence of his body gestures and the subtleties of that whole theatricality. You look like a man!" – Andre Leon Talley

"You definitely have the gift of androgyny.  There's a beautiful sexuality, a sensuality, and a strength that your bone structure leans toward that I think you should really [explore].  There's something there that is magical." – Tyra

Bottom 2
Tyra warned the contestants: "There's a big chance that the girl [who] goes home today is the girl who didn't know who the designer was."  That's total bullshit because Denise Huxtable (Liz) didn't know who John Galliano was at ALL, and she got best photo. It's more like: "There's a big chance that the girl who goes home today is the girl who took the shittiest photo – according to four people."

In the end, the Bottom 2 came down to: Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) and Chester (Esther).  Chester (Esther) started out weak in the competition but grew over time. However, the judges felt she was consistently only bringing one look. Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) had so much potential as a model, but wasn't bringing it to the set.

And the Loser Is...
Mo' Chocolate (Kendal). Oh! Didn't see that one coming!  I only started getting really worried for the Danielle Evans Cycle 6 look-alike during the photo shoot.  And, we've got to admit, she did terribly.  She got stuck in her head because she didn't know the designer:

"How can I portray a person I don't know?" -- Mo' Chocolate questioned after learning her designer was Vera Wang. 

Unable to bring any kind of expression to her face, Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) started to crash and burn.  Same Face.  Dead Eyes. No Expression. Not the kind of labels you want.  Mr. J criticized her during the shoot, saying that her expressions were registering as "blank".   

"It was just flat. Boring. And I don't think Kendal is passionate about being here." -- Mr J

Uh-oh. Talk about The Kiss of Death!!  At this point, the cards were all out.  Like thunderclaps signaling the approach of lightening, Mr. J's words echoed across the set--nay, across our very souls--warning of the imminent demise of Mo' Chocolate (Kendal).

 

During panel, Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) was accused of giving up -- another Kiss of Death:

"Kendal was not taking direction well in her body. I felt [she was] very nervous.  The idea that [she] gave me was that [she was] not trying hard enough. Because [she's] very beautiful, and it looked like, 'I'm beautiful, I'm just going to show up in front of the camera.'"
– Francesco Carrozzini  

No mo' chocolate.

It could have been her ignorance of the fashion industry that ultimately sent her home. Or perhaps it was something far simpler:

"My fear is that you are the noun not the verb. So, you were born a 'model', but you are not
'model-ing.'" – Tyra

"Kendal's problem isn't the fact that she was playing someone of the opposite race; it's the fact that she's simply not modeling." – Nigel

And so, with the flip of a photo, Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) was sent home. Tyra's parting advice was to practice taking photos with friends who could really push her farther.

"Tyra told me to practice, but...I just don't know what I’m gonna do." – Mo' Chocolate (Kendal)

Look, darling, we can't make it any clearer: you should practice!!

To Be Deeply Concerned About
Chester (Esther)

Strike 1: Labeled as having “one look.”

Strike 2:  Bottom 2 this week and has been on a downhill trajectory lately.

Strike 3: Nigel began the "she's a beautiful girl, but is she a model?" questioning. This never is a good road to go down.

Strike 4: She failed so bad this week that Tyra impersonated her fugly photo [right].

Blockhead (Jane)

Strike 1: Not posing H2T.  The judges tend to like the expressions on her face, but note her inability to connect to her body.

Strike 2: Doesn't know fashion designers.  "A Princeton girl who hasn't done her homework??" [cue shock and horror.]

Strike 3: Fell into the Bottom 3 this week and was in the Bottom 2 just two weeks ago.

Serena (Chris)

Strike 1: Still fighting the "too commercial" label from last week. However, next week is the CoverGirl commercial, so maybe this perceived detriment will end up playing in her favor?

Strike 2: Andre Leon Talley began the "is she a model?" questioning. Never good.

Chelsey (Casper)

Strike 1: "She doesn’t look like a model to me.”

Strike 2: Something terrible.

Strike 3: Something even worse.

Final Thoughts: But Are You 'Really' Qualified?
Just as we began the episode with Chelsey (Casper) needing a lesson on taking what you've got and using it to your advantage, we close with the judges needing to stop questioning whether or not the models are "really models." What's with the judges questioning half the cast?  "I like such-and-such about her, but is she really a model?" They must be suffering from I-Can't-Tell-a-Model-from-a-College-Chick-Syndrome.

Get it together judges! You picked these ladies out two months ago and it's now you're wondering about the ladies playing the part? Come on! Don't dick us around! At least pretend like they are mere "catalog models", too commercial and lowly to be considered for this high fashion gig.  That's an easier pill to swallow. Until now, your loyal viewers have been rooting for our favorite aspiring models, imagining them on the cover of Vogue Italia.  Now--now?!?--you want us to question whether half the lot is really only capable of modeling for J-14.  Look, if 50% of the models are "not really models," why not just ditch half and make it more fun? Let's have a quadruple elimination in one episode! Yeah!! ...But just don't send home my gambling model picks!

Cycle 15, Episode 6: Patrick Demarchelier

The lengendary. The renowned. The incomprehensible.The girls start out with a bullshit challenge that's really just a plug for Walmart and CoverGirl.  Later, they head to Rodeo Drive for a photo shoot with legendary French fashion photographer, Patrick Demarchelier.  If you're not wet by his very name, you're not into fashion! Demarchelier also serves as guest judge on this week's panel.

A Growth Moment
We get an insight into Giraffe (Ann) this week, who is developing a sense of self-confidence and learning a lot about herself through the competition.

"I actually do feel like a model, and I'm not just the gangly girl that sits in the back of class.  I really do feel pretty now. I'm really happy I'm here." – Giraffe (Ann)

Truly moving. This shift in self-perception is something she will carry with her for the rest of her life.  It's beautiful to watch Giraffe (Ann) grow and begin to cultivate a strong sense of self.  It's not all roses though, because she now faces the challenge of putting her personality out there.  Typically the quiet, shy girl, she's not used to standing out in a crowd:

"I’m 6'2" and I'm pretty tall.  I think that being shy around people is kind of a defense mechanism because if I just stay under the radar then people aren't going to notice that I'm tall and they won't make fun of me for it or ask me questions about it like everyone does." – Giraffe (Ann)

Now that she is aware of this unconscious psychological strategy, she has an opportunity to work on it and tear down some walls. I have hope for her because she recognizes this is "homework" rather than some inherent flaw she can't control.  The only question is – can she do it fast enough?  If she can't blossom quickly, she won't remain in the competition.  As Casper (Chesley) points out, the judges want the entire package:

"You could tell [Ann] was so uncomfortable. In this competition, they're looking for the whole package, and a lot of the package is personality and being able to present yourself.  I don't think Ann can do that very well."

We shall see how Giraffe (Ann) progress with her homework and how quickly she can stride forward in the right direction. Good luck, girl!!

CoverGirl Challenge
The ladies end up at Walmart for a  CoverGirl challenge.  GROAN.  I hate watching product placements for big-box stores.  I don't see how ANTM can try to be all "green" in Cycle 9 and then have Walmart as a show sponsor. WTF?!?

After splitting up into groups of three, the ladies do a presentation on CoverGirl in front of a live audience of select Walmart customers.  It'd be pretty easy to impress folks who shop at Walmart.  It's not like they have discerning taste. 

This challenge was all about standing out in a crowd while also being the face of CoverGirl.  Who gives a shit about CoverGirl??  Isn't this a high fashion competition not a commercial competition?  They aren't winning a cover of Seventeen Magazine.  Shouldn't the judges be testing who can be the face of Italian Vogue??  What's with the sudden injection of being commercial?  Be high fashion!

The one fun part about this challenge was that the ladies had to watch a live video of the audience revealing how easy, breezy and beautiful they found the models.  Interestingly, at no point after did any of the models have a deep, meaningful conversation about 'perception' and how easy / difficult it is to control how we are perceived. You'd think some amazingly deep conversations would spring forth from the fodder Tyra has given them, but the ladies never reach this philosophical moment together. Apparently, they aren't smoking enough weed.

In the end, the audience liked Giraffe (Ann) the least.  Nigel warned her:

"You've had the best picture four weeks in a row. But there's a lot more to being a top model than just having the best picture. You've got to be personable."

DAMN!! Nigel is laying down a CLASSIC Top Model Rule! This girl better listen up and adjust right quick! When the judges outright lay down an ANTM Law to you, you best never hear this criticism again, or it will be on your exit night.  All this focus on Giraffe (Ann) and her lack of personality makes me nervous about her.  Time will tell how this model virtuoso will do.

The winners all got a mini shopping spree in the CoverGirl aisle of Walmart.  Oh wow, hold the applause. Compared to some of the other prizes, I would feel pretty jipped to win this.  After scavenging through the shelves of concealer, blush and eye shadow, the winning team then competed against each other to see who could put on makeup the best.  Chester (Esther) won and got a $1,000 Walmart gift card.  Whoop-dee-doo.
 

Left to right: Patrick Demarchelier (photographer), Mr. J (creative), Lori Goldstein (fashion stylist)Photo Shoot
The girls head to Rodeo Drive [a street so ritzy, it has it's own website] to work with one of the most sought-after photographers in the industry, Patrick Demarchelier. Bask in the glory of the most prestigious photo shoot in ANTM history! Tyra even showed up for the occasion.   The ladies were paired off with another girl and a male model then took group shots and later solo shots in motion.

Mr. J explained that the key to the shoot would be capturing a moment in reality. "We're not 'posing,' so listen to Patrick Demarchelier and just go with it."  Easier said than done--half the girls couldn't even understand what the French photographer was saying.

"Ils pensent que je parle comme un poulet."

Best Photo
Setting a new ANTM record, the best photo goes to Giraffe (Ann) -- AGAIN!! 

Tyra calls is like it is: "Ann, you're making this [competition] sooo not interesting!"  What can I say?  I love Giraffe (Ann), and I'm rooting for her to win, so her total domination of the competition makes me happy.

Andre Leon Talley LOVED her photos: "BE-YOOOND! BEY-YOND!!! Beyond everything EVER!!!!" he screamed then jizzed in his man cape.

Andre noted how versatile Giraffe's (Ann's) look is: "I know she's American, but I almost sense an English beauty."

While she should celebrate, this is no time to rest on her laurels either.  We definitely saw Giraffe (Ann) falter this week.  Mr. J said she seemed "almost as stiff on set as my silver locks."  In fact, she had such a hard time walking naturally that Tyra did an impression of her to show the other judges just how pitiful it was in person:

More troubling though, was the fact that Giraffe (Ann) was having a hard time bringing out her personality.  Nigel was critical, telling her:

"The still camera only catches a split second. But you're still going to have to do commercials and be in front of people.  As photogenic as you are, you also want our public to love you. So, try and work it out." – Nigel

When among his peers, Nigel was also quite frank, emphasizing the importance of personality:

"I wish I could get more out of her in front of me. It's so important. When I see her, I want to be inspired to book her."

Bottom Two
Will Mop Top (Kayla) and ReRun(Kacey) please step forward? Two beautiful young ladies stand before me. But I only have one photo in my hand, and this photo represents the girl who is still in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Model.  I’ll only call one name, and the girl that I do not call must immediately return to your home here, pack your bags, and go home.

Yep, that's right it’s down to ReRun (Kacey) – no SHIT she is in the bottom – and Mop Top (Kayla).  Mop Top?!?! WHAAAAAAAT?!?!  How did SHE end up in the bottom two?? She's headed for the top! There's no WAY she can get eliminated! What are the judges thinking??!?! DAMN!!! DAMN!

For any of you out there who knows what it's like to suffer for fashion, you may understand what Mop Top (Kayla) went through this week.  This poor girl was given shoes that a size too small, causing her feet to bleed and swell.  Unfortunately for her, she had a hard time concealing the pain on her face.

Tyra noted how both girls were disconnected in the photos this week.  Mop Top (Kayla) was disconnected because she showed the pain on her face.  I also think she took a hit for complaining about the shoes, rather than sucking it up.  Winding up in the bottom was the judges way of saying, "No whining. Take what you are given and make the most of it."

ReRun (Kacey) was disconnected because she looked hella snobby in her group shot and didn't interact well with the other models.  In her solo shot she didn't convey any emotion in her eyes. And in her movement shot, she didn't even bother to look at the camera. Drekitude.

And the Loser Is…
ReRun (Kacey)
In the end, the bitch finally went home.  Bye bye, Preparation H!!  Your saggy eyes are finally going back to Palmdale where they belong. 

Was this really a surprise, though?  We could all see this coming.  In her photos over the weeks, her eyes were "dead."  Smize or die, ladies!  Follow the Tyra mantra or pack your bags.  And when Andre Leon Talley calls you a "snooty, exiled African princess," you best be prepared for that long bus ride home. 

Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) called out ReRun's (Kacey's) weakness earlier in the episode: "Kacey, she be practicin' in mirrors all the time, but it still don't come across on camera. I think she more muscular. Like, she could be a fit model. I don't think she's right for Italian Vogue."  Apparently, neither did the judges. 

This washed-up model wanna-be took it extremely hard, breaking down in front of the judging panel and showing off her puffy bag eyes -- further confirming what a good decision it was to send her home. 

 

“It just felt like it was gonna be my time. It just sucks so bad, man! It just sucks SOOO bad. I feel so defeated, just so drained out. How do you go home after this? I'm never gonna get over this!!”  -- ReRun (Kacey)

Wow, she's NEVER going to get over it?  So much for learning and moving forward!  Good luck sucking your thumb, girl.  Hope that gets you far in your modeling endeavors.

Crockpot Theories: For Whom the Bell Tolls

Serena (Chris)

Strike 1: "It looks like a spread in Teen Vogue."

Strike 2: "From an editorial point of view, this is out."

She needs to navigate into the editorial sea and out of the commercial waters STAT! – otherwise she will be a capsized model. 

"Commercial" is an especially deadly label when competing for a cover of Vogue Italia. This is high fashion, baby, not Seventeen magazine.  Heed this warning, Serena (Chris), or you will go home.

Blockhead (Jane)

Strike 1: "Town & Country"
Strike 2: “Commercial"
Strike 3:  "Bad close-up"

Surviving these labels will be tough.  If she can't give good face, there is no way the judges will select her for the cover of Vogue Italia. 

On the plus side, she got runner up for best photo this week. Blockhead (Jane) is showing that she knows how to shine. However, the "commercial" label will continue to haunt her, so there's no relaxing in the coming weeks.  These are dangerous waters she is treading.  She's got to hit it HARD or her ship will sink. 

Quiz: Which Top Model Judge Are You?

Take the quiz yourself to find out which Top Model judge you are.  Turns out, I am Miss J. Alexander! How perfect is that?  That's exactly who I plan to be for Halloween!

Which ANTM Judge Are You?

More on America's Next Top Model. Created by BuddyTV

Top Model Gambling: The Big Switch

Based on Denise Huxtable's (Liz's) recent trips to the bottom 2 and her constant diva attitude during photo shoots, I've decided to switch her out for Blockhead (Jane).  Honestly, this could be the death of me in the gambling pool because I will lose points for making this switch, but I'm deeply concerned about the way Denise Huxtable (Liz) has been treading seriously dangerous waters.  The teaser for Episode 5 makes it seem like it's getting worse too, because Denise Huxtable (Liz) gets involved with drama between Uma (Lexie) and ReRun (Kacey).  Tyra is not down with diva-licious drama girls who yell in people's faces.  So, I feel there is no other choice but to make this switch.  Wish me luck.  I have no idea if this is the right move.  Blockhead (Jane) is not a completely solid pick because she is not smizing in her photos. However, I hope she can pick up the pace and learn quickly -- for my sake.

Getting cut:  Denise Huxable (Liz)

Taking her place: Blockhead (Jane)