Cycle 15, Episode 9: Margherita Missoni

Summary
The contestants travel from Venice, California to Venezia, Italia! They pause briefly for a group photo shoot in a gondola with the historic Rialto Bridge as the backdrop, then dash over Milano for this week's challenge: a fitting with Missoni. This week's guest judge is Margherita Missoni.

Andiamo!
Ms. Jay leads the girls through the streets of Venice on beach cruisers to see more of the city. But, we all know there must be a twist – there’s no sightseeing in fashion! He slyly tells the contestants they have arrived at the location of their "next photo shoot" and that they will have to dive off the bridge and swim into the lagoon for the photo. But guess WHAT?!  Tyra shows up gliding toward the bridge in a gondola and announces the girls actually will be going to Venezia, Italia!!! Ciao belle!!  They return to their beach house to pack their bags. 

Benvenuti Raggazze!
The ladies deplane in Italia and note the sweltering heat. They must have arrived during the summer, possibly August, when most Italians spend the month of ferrie (vacation) at beach resorts to escape the heat. In their gorgeous new hotel room, the ladies prepare a champagne toast (cin-cin! salute!) out on their balcony. Suddenly, a bird takes a shit on Denise Huxtable's (Liz's) arm and Blockhead's (Jane's) hair!! (cue laugh track)
 

Denise Huxtable (Liz) reverts to her usual ways and complains profusely about getting shit on.  In doing so, Casper (Chelsey) gets pissed off at her constant complaining. Trust, me – she ain't the only one! After all, this is exactly why I traded her out of my model gambling picks. Blockhead (Jane) doesn't complain about the shit in her hair, she just takes it in stride.  Somehow, though, the entire incident seemed rather ominous. Did the bird know something we didn't??

Photo Shoot: Simone Falcetta
The models head through the twisting streets of Venezia to their photo shoot location near the iconic Rialto Bridge in Venezia. Mr. Jay explains they will be doing a high fashion period editorial with photographer Simone Falcetta. They are divided into groups of three and must pose as high society women trying to woo their Casanova while on a romantic gondola ride.

The girls have mixed emotions about the shoot. One side of the spectrum sits Mop Top (Kayla) who is immediately nervous about portraying romance with a male model. She suffered last week in the CoverGirl commercial on the same task and is determined to improve this week. On the other side is Serena (Chris) who is immediately comfortable with Casanova:

"He's one handsome, beautiful, big-nosed Italian man! He is handsome, mmm hmm! He is HAND-some!! Oh! I wouldn't mind me bringin' him home, honey!"

    

Many of the contestants express how it's their time to step it up and why they have the edge on everyone else. With everything on the line, the girls boldly board their gondola and vie for the attention of not just Casanova but the judges as well!

Group 1: Mop Top (Kayla), Serena (Chris), Denise Huxtable (Liz)  

Denise Huxtable (Liz) complains right off the bat this week. Once again, Mr. Jay is not happy with her performance.  Casper (Chelsey) is also irritated, commenting: "In this industry, I don't think complaining is tolerated—at all."
 

Mop Top (Kayla) did awesome. She was comfortable immediately and really present during the shoot. You could see her smizing and getting into character.

 Serena (Chris) is still fighting her "Teen Vogue" / "too commercial" label.

"As the shoot progressed, Chris became more and more awkward, so she lost her performance." – Mr. Jay

"I know Chris for being goofy and funny. I felt like she may have done a mediocre job on her photo shoot. Chris is not high fashion." – Mop Top (Kayla)

Group 2: Giraffe (Ann), Casper (Chesley), Blockhead (Jane)

Casper (Chelsey) believes that because she is "older" (she's only 23 for christ's sake!!), this competition is her last chance at a modeling career. She really wants to step it up this week and claim top photo. She did well, but was a bit forgettable.

Giraffe (Ann) has been progressing with her confidence with the other girls. She is more comfortable being herself around them: "She is growing not only in modeling, but as a person." – Mop Top (Kayla)  However, this naturalness has not carried over to the set. She hasn't brought a level of confidence and control to her photo shoot. She is on really shaky ground and might fall off soon. The amazing thing is, she still has it in her hands to control, but she doesn't even seem to realize this.

 “Ann, you look petrified." – Mr. Jay

"You know, Ann was the break-out star at the beginning of this competition. But as we're moving forward week to week, I'm starting to feel that Ann is losing her confidence. She didn't look comfortable in today's photo shoot. ... If you're not comfortable with whoever is around you, you're not going to sell anyone that photograph.” – Mr. Jay

Blockhead (Jane) made it believable and impressed Mr. Jay: "Jane, I love this! This is the best I've seen you!"  I think part of why Blockhead (Jane) did so well was because she didn't need to pose H2T, just H2Waist. Her face is stunning. Even if she doesn't win this competition, she can definitely continue in modeling. Tyra might give her the ol', "you can be a face model" schtick.

"Jane had the difficult position of working behind Mario, Chelsey and Ann, so she had her own private little moment and she made it so believable! I felt with Jane that I was looking back in time." – Mr. Jay

Una Missione per Vedere Missoni
The girls jetset from  Venezia to Milano, internationally recognized fashion and design capital, home of IMG Model Management, Vogue Italia, and designer brands, such as Valentino, Gucci, Versace, Prada, Armani, Dolce & Gabbana, and Missoni.

The ladies make a quick stop to their new pad in Milano and quickly realize it's not a mansion. Wah-wah. Get over it. Tyra set them up to have a more realistic model house that they would stay at if booked through an agency.

"It's nice. It ain't all that." – Serena (Chris)

Tyra surprises the contestants in their pad and tells them their next challenge will be to head to fashion house Missoni for a fitting. Missoni is famous for its unique knitwear, made from a variety of fabrics in colorful patterns.

The ladies don the Missoni winter clothing line in sweltering August heat and must walk for Creative Director of Maison Missoni, Angela Missoni, her daughter, Margherita Missoni, and Ms. Jay. Combine the lack of air conditioners with thick winter knits and this was a recipe for Casper (Chelsey) to nearly pass out. The overheating theme would continue into juding.

Judging & Elimination
This week’s guest judge is Margherita Missoni. This girl has some rep in the industry. Not only is she Angela Missoni’s daughter, she is the brand ambassador, the accessory designer, the heiress to the brand, the unofficial "muse" of the collection, an IMG model, the face of the Missoni perfumes, and she is now studying in New York to be an actress. DAMN! And she's only 27! DAMN!!

The best part about the elimination ceremony was the fact that the girls became so overheated in their knitwear that a few of them almost passed out! It really showed how much the industry expects the models to just suck it up and deal with the conditions, no matter how adverse.

Best Photo
Mop Top (Kayla) steals it this week! Finally! Our girl takes first place! YES!!! She accomplished her goal of stepping up after last week's trouble with a male model. This week she delivers a pose that is believable and the judges love it!

"Her eyes are just so present. She gets my vote!" – Margherita Missoni

 

Runner Up: Blockhead (Jane). We gotta give props to this girl because she deserves it!

Bottom 2
Will Serena (Chris) and Denise Huxtable (Liz) please step forward? Two lovely ladies stand before me, but I only have one photo in my hand, and this photo represents the girl who will continue on in the hopes of becoming America’s Next Top Model. I'll only call one name. And the girl that I do not call must immediately return to her home here in Milano, pack her bags, and go home.

Serena (Chris) has an effervescent personality, but her photos do not shine and sparkle as much as she does. Denise Huxtable (Liz) has gorgeous bone structure and strong androgyny that the judges love. But the judges also agree she makes too many excuses.

And The Loser Is…
Denise Huxtable (Liz) gets her ass handed to her this week. C'mon, was it really that much of a shocker? Once Tyra is telling you to correct something for the 3^rd time, you're out the door, sweetheart.

She didn't know the industry: "I don't know who John Galliano is."

She didn't even know geography very well:

“Instantly when I hear Milan I think Mulan. You know, Japan, dragons... I don't even know where my mind was at.”

Bottom line: Make excuses for a poor performance and you will be excusing yourself out the door. 

Mop Top (Kayla) called it this week: "One mistake can send you home." Amen, girl. Truer words were never spoken.

"I find [her pose] a little bit vulgar."– Margherita Missoni

“Why is she standing like that anyway? It looks like a whole universe between her legs and—nmm nmmm!" – Andre Leon Talley

For Whom The Bell Tolls
Giraffe (Ann)  

Strike 1: Bottom 3

Strike 2: "The judges feel you are shrinking. You need to perform well even when you are not at the top of the pack. But something needs to happen because you're slipping." – Tyra

Best Quote
"I could definitely get used to living a fabulous life. I'm gay; that's what we're used to!" – Mop Top (Kayla)

 
What We Learned

1. Blockhead (Jane) was a European history major at Princeton.
2.  Milan is full up with fashion! (Valentino, Gucci, Versace, Prada, Armani, Dolce & Gabbana, Missoni!)
3. Margherita Missoni is the shit! 

Top Model Gambling: Thank God!

Whew! I just dodged a bullet this week!!!

I was seriously considering switching out Serena (Chris) for Chester (Esther). Why? Well, because Serena (Chris) was getting labeled as "commercial" and plus there are mostly white chicks left, so it seems like the odds are against the dark-skinned girls this cycle.  However, I hesitated because Chester (Esther) was not going to be a winning pick anyway. She was sort of floating in the middle.  With the thought of a commercial and her nasal voice, I opted to keep my gambling picks as they were. Thank God I did!! I just prevented myself from losing points. Plus, I might have even earned some points this week since Serena (Chris) was called first for best commercial (you GO, girl!!) Had I swtched those models, it likely would have cost me the game. But I'm still in it to win it, folks! Cross your fingers because whoever has most points at the end of the cycle wins $200. And, damn, do I want that to be me!

Poll: Rate the Fate of Chester (Esther)

Cycle 15, Episode 8: Zac Posen

Designer Zac Posen surprises the girls at their beach house and tells them they will be wearing his fall 2010 collection during this week's runway challenge. The girls put their personality and balance to the test when they shoot their first commercial in roller skates. Posen is also this week's guest judge.

Runway Challenge
The girls girls learned they would be in a Zac Posen fashion show the following day with professional models.  Ms. J and the Mr. Posen would judge the models, and the winner would get 5 outfits from the designer’s runway show.  The secret twist to this challenge? The professional models were asked to be catty and mean towards the novice models.  The judges wanted to test their composure by seeing what would happen if they got rattled.

So, guess who got rattled? Giraffe (Ann) of course! She stumbled on the runway. It wasn't that big of a deal, really, but Ms. J threw his neck back in disgust as if she had fallen. She’s GOT to work on her confidence or she will be sent home.  If she is, Mop Top (Kayla) will likely win the competition.  But we’re not there yet, darlings.  Our gentle Giraffe (Ann) just needs to push it on through the otha side and she will come out on top once again!

Ms. J reacts in horror to Giraffe's (Ann's) runway stumble

Chester (Esther) had a SUPER awkward walk. I don’t know what she was thinking! I don’t remember her walking so funky before, so why is she starting up with this now? Her torso, arms, and legs were so akimbo while walking. She looked terrible.

Overall, the rest of the girls did fine.  Post-runway show, they hugged as a group while shouting, "We're real models now!!!" I don't think saying it makes it true, girls. Maybe I should take back my rant from last week criticizing the judges for questioning whether or not the girls are "real models."  Maybe the aren't! (Gasp!!!)

Challenge Winner
Ms. J revealed that the "mean girl" models were just faking it. Nothing much really came of this bit, so moving on.  Casper (Chelsey) wins! We don't see her rub this win in anyone’s face, nor do we see her pick out her 5 looks, so we don't care too much either.
Casper (Chelsey) shows how a real model should walk and strike a pose

Commercial & Judging
Mr. J and Nigel burst into the ladies house to announce they’d be doing a commercial then and there, and that Nigel would be filming it.  So many people are showing up unexpectedly that the girls’ house is getting busier than an Amsterdam brothel!  Nigel revealed the hard part of the commercial: the contestants would have to film on roller skates, kiss a boy, and promote a faux energy drink called 'H2T.' Whoah! This is going to be interesting for sure!

A Shocking Drama
While in hair and makeup, Mop Top (Kayla) broke down crying. She revealed to Mr. J that she was deeply against kissing a man because she was sexually assaulted at age 11 for long period of her life.  She had never talked about this prior – not to her mom, not to her friends, not to her partner. Holy. Shit.  ANTM Just. Got. Real.

Mr. J did a great job being den mother. This was a serious topic and Mop Top (Kayla) could have easily opted out of the commercial without anyone faulting her. However, thanks to Mr. J and his kind words, he somehow got Mop Top (Kayla) back into the mindset of filming a commercial.

Props Where Props are Due
I have to give major props to Mop Top (Kayla) for her strength and ability to deal with such an emotional topic so calmly on the show.  It shows how mature she is.  This is exactly the type of thing that has sunk contestants in cycle’s past, but Mop Top (Kayla) proved she would not be held back from her dream:

"Now that I've talked about [the abuse] and realized that it's actually healthy to talk about it, I'm going to deal with it. And I feel a lot better about it. I don't think it’s going to affect me in this competition because the basis of me being here is to win, and I refuse to let anything get in the way because that’s my 'lot' in life." --- (Mop Top) Kayla

At first, she forgot her lines and her delivery was so-so. When it came time to kiss the guy she was definitely awkward. But she got through it, and Mr. J thought she "delivered a performance that was believable." 

The best part was seeing her best take. She glided by the camera saying how great H2T water was because of the "acai berries, guarana, and... .... 'boo-bana!'" HAHA!  Surprisingly, the judges didn't give her too much shit for butchering the ingredient. Instead they 'ooh'-ed and 'ahh'-ed over her "urban" look and ribbed her lightly: "This drink has iguanas!" -- Nigel

Chelsey (Casper) skated pretty well, despite a few bumps.  She hit her lines, but her delivery was flat. Tyra called her performance "wooded."  Not good!  Nigel noted that she had potential to be a model, but questioned whether she could be a "top" model.

“I wish there had been more snap crackle and pop.” – Andre Leon Talley

Well, at least they aren't calling her an amateur drag queen anymore!

Giraffe (Ann) was super bad this week. She was crying before she even started the commercial!  Because of her fear of falling and embarrassing herself she focused on screwing up. So, what did she do? Exactly that. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

"Ann's biggest issue is she’s afraid of failing and making herself look like a fool in front of other people. As a result, Ann completely psyched herself out!" – Mr. J.

Poor Giraffe (Ann) took spill after spill after spill. As soon as she got up from falling, she would crash back down immediately. Her height (and extreme awkwardness) definitely put her at a disadvantage. I've fallen down on roller skates as an adult and it hurts. You don't want to do it – trust me. Seeing her fall repeatedly was painful to watch. I really sympathized.

Nigel tried to help her by taking her arm and walking with her. "You can do this!" he coached. I don't know how much it really helped, because still Giraffe (Ann) couldn't seem to stay upright, but his effort was earnest.

Things seemed to unravel further during panel, when guest judge Zac Posen told Girafee (Ann) to stand up straighter: "You have got to make us believe that you can do everything else even if you can't roller skate."  He told her to present herself with a sense of confidence. Exactly what Giraffe (Ann) has trouble with. [Cue Tyra's 'wah-wah']

Blockhead (Jane) actually nailed her lines and skated halfway decently. She had some stumbles, but at least they weren't in every take! Good job, Ms. Lacrosse! The judges criticized her for not bringing it "enough" and for her bland personality. However, she ended up being runner-up for best commercial.  I was happy, but conflicted. She did okay, but not great. Blockhead (Jane) was still struggling with connecting her hot face to her awkward poses.  Shouldn't she have been punished for not modeling head to toe?  I mean, the product being advertised was H2T water!

"You had the lines down, your outfit looked good, everything was good. I just want to see more of you." – Nigel

Chester (Esther) looked like she was about to fall asleep. She was pretty good on the skates, mildly steady. But when delivering her lines she was robotic. Tyra noted how her voice has a “muffle” on it. I’d say it's pretty damn nasal.  Overall, this week she was forgettable.

Denise Huxtable (Liz) didn't seem to take the commercial too seriously and laughed her way though it. What a mistake. She certainly fell out of Nigel’s good graces and really should have been in the Bottom 2 for her terrible performance.  Despite claims about being prepared, she didn't have her lines memorized and simply laughed it off.  If she had tried harder, she could have received best commercial.  Her skating was fine and her outfit looked good.  It was her attitude that made her bomb.  In my mind, she really should be sent home.

"When you feel beautiful on the inside, you feel even more beautiful on...the...inside..." – Densie Huxtable (Liz), screwing up her line.

I think she managed to escape the wrath of the Bottom 2 this week because she showed vulnerability in front of the judges.  If she hadn’t shown this growth potential, the judges surely would have sent her packing.  Nevertheless, her lackluster performance puts another black mark on her record. If she doesn't straighten up and fly right, she will go home soon!

Best Commercial
To our delight, Serena (Chris) won best commercial this week! She was called out for being slightly too cheesy, but overall the judges loved it. She skated backwards with no assistance, nailed a complex ingredients list (acai berry, guarana, chromium), and had chemistry with the male model. More importantly, she brought her personality out and made it believable.  Props to Serena (Chris) aka Woo Lawd! for taking first place away from Denise Huxtable (Liz)!!

Bottom 2
Chester (Esther) and Giraffe (Ann). You had to have seen this coming. Both ladies  did poorly in the runway challenge and the commercial.  Chesther (Esther) had a flat, forgettable commercial.  She also had a funky, knock-kneed runway walk. Giraffe (Ann) got frazzled in the runway challenge and stumbled. Then she cried her way through her H2T commercial.  Overall, both did quite poorly this week.

And the Loser Is…
Chester (Esther), the judges sank your battleship.  

 "I've never seen someone deliver a performance that was so under energized and flat." – Mr. J

"Total-- as Andre Leon Talley would say--drekitude!" -- Nigel

Forgettable. Boring.  Blah. Those descriptors combined with being up against someone who had won best photo 5 consecutive weeks, it was nearly impossible to avoid being sent home.  After all, only one judge supported her in panel:  "She, today, is not the worst of the lot for me!" said Andre Leon Talley.  Unfortunately, her time had come. Bye, bye 30Gs! I'm sure all the Jewish teenage boys will miss you.

Tyra was positive and encouraging towards Chester (Esther), telling her to continue her pursuit of modeling and to do it for curvy girls (ie. chest-a-licious girl) everywhere.

"I think moving forward I‘m going to try to open myself up more. I'm sad about leaving, about not being here anymore. When I go home I want to continue modeling." -- Chester (Esther)

Her ablity to leave the competition with such a positive perspective shows how mature she is. We will miss you, girl!

For Whom the Bell Tolls
Giraffe (Ann) had a BAD week. The judges didn't think she was capable of speaking or presenting herself well.  However, they also felt she had an "an awkwardness that is really beautiful."

Bottom Line: If she screws up majorly again next week, she will be sent home! She's treading some shark-infested waters.  She can bounce back from this, but it's vital she starts stepping up immediately!

Strike 1: Told (again) she needs to work on her confidence. 

Strike 2: Cried during commercial.  Time is money people! There's no crying in fashion!

Strike 3: Visible discomfort.  Andre Leon Talley said, "I felt as if you were in deep pain from the moment you stood up.  There was not a sense of "'letting go.'" This could just all be one huge Tim Lincecum style strike out for "lack of confidence" really. If Giraffe (Ann) does not improve, she will be thrown to the fashion wolves.

To Be Deeply Concerned About

Jane (Blockhead)
Strike 1: "You're just 'in the face.' I need to see that natural fierceness through the body!" – Zac Posen about on Jane

Strike 2:  Repeated criticism for not modeling H2T. Typically, the girls who receive the same ciriticsm several weeks in a row, are out of the door shortly thereafter.

Denise Huxtable (Liz)
This lady is walking a RAZOR fine line!

Strike 1: Bottom 3

Strike 2: Laughed through her commercial.

She's really got to show the judges how dedicated she is to modeling or they will throw her ass out. Tyra does not take kindly to mockery.

Cycle 15, Episode 7: Francesco Carrozzini

The girls headed to The Grammy Museum in downtown L.A. where they learned one of them would be chosen to be a "Grammy Girl."  During this week's photo shoot, the models portrayed iconic fashion designers for photographer Francesco Carrozzini, who was also this week's guest judge.

Happy Trails to You!
ReRun (Kacey) was just sent home, and the girls were openly stoked!  Looks like ANTM Tyra Rule #5 was diligently enforced: The Bitch Never Wins.

"I'm so happy Kacey got sent home. She was not trustworthy and I don't like people like that.  She came and hugged everybody. I gave her a handshake or whatever. And that was it." – Mo' Chocolate (Kendal)

A couple of the girls even get 'dem hands up and high five! Bye bye, biotch!!

Challenge: Grammy Girl"She and I have very different cup sizes. I have no idea what 'G' boobs--or any boobs--are like."
The ladies found themselves at the Grammy Museum and some old white CEO dude told them this week's challenge winner would hand out an award onstage at the upcoming Grammy awards.  The girls instantly scream in delight at the notion of becoming a "Grammy girl."  Denise Huxtable (Liz) even starts crying ecstatically. Say wha'?  If I were there, I'd pout.  I wouldn't want to be labeled a Grammy girl – WTF!?  I thought this was a high fashion competition, yo.

The girls pair up and learn this week's challenge is to pick out an outfit for the Grammies.  The twist?  They must select said outfit for their partner – not themselves.  Oh, and did I mention they only had ten minutes, the other person wouldn't be there, and they had to find shoes & jewelry too? Sounds like fun!

Most of the girls tried to get something to please  their partner. Not Mop Top (Kayla)!  Instead, she decided her team needed to stand out.  She made an executive decision and completely ignored her partner's instructions:

"I'm nodding my head saying 'Yeah, I'll get that for you.' And I had no intention of ever getting that for her. I'm thinking to myself, if I bring punk rock to the table, Liz and I will stand out among all the other girls.  I went completely against what she said and I got her pants.  She better rock it like it's a ball gown!” – Mop Top (Kayla)

 

Take Notes Y'All
During the challenge, we witnessed a Tyra lesson in the making: Take What You Got and Rock It.  Casper (Chelsey) complained profusely about the gown that Giraffe (Ann) had selected because it was 10--yes TEN--sizes too big.  Big mistake. This is ANTM, child, so even if you're naked except for a ring, you must take what you got and rock it! You don't know what the outcome will be, so if you give yourself a fighting chance, you may end up coming out ahead! These are Tyra's Rules and it's vital to obey the Laws of the Land. 

Unfortunately, our ghostly model had a hard time remembering the lesson Tyra doled out at Mop Top (Kayla) the week prior when she exiled her to the Bottom 2 for complaining about her shoes being too tight. Rather than thinking about the Unspoken Model Rules to Live By, our droopily-dressed maiden made a huge gaffe and complained in front of the judges:

Mr. J:   Chelsey, why are you clutching the dress?

C:    Um, it's because I'm not sure if I'm wearing it correctly.  If I let it go, there's one seam going this way and I'm honestly not sure if I'm wearing it right.

J:    Here's the thing, though, when you're walking in front of a group of people and the garment's already on you, the best thing that you could possibly do is sell us what you're wearing, the way you’re wearing it with confidence.

Seriously, girl! Take a note from Maria in the Sound of Music and have some confidence!  The dress actually looked good, despite her bitchin'.  In fact, she and Giraffe (Ann) looked the most Grammy-appropriate of all the pairs.  However, I think the judges didn't select the team, in part, because of Casper’s (Chelsey’s) poor attitude.

Challenge Winner
Mop Top (Kayla) ended up winning because she brought the most personality. Looks like she recovered from her scrape against the bottom last week. "All it did was motivate me to be better," she said of her fall from grace.

The only issue I have with this challenge is that there seems to be no point having the models pick out clothes for their partners.  The girl who chose the winning outfit didn't earn any brownie points.  So why even try to give your partner a bomb ass look in the first place?  There was no incentive for picking out a red carpet outfit, just as there was no punishment for picking out a "What Were They Thinking?!" look.

Denise Huxtable (Liz) was upset for not being the chosen Grammy Girl. After all, she was the only one in sequined pants!  So, to nurse her wounds, she looked to alchohol! Antics ensued.  Some girls got jealous because they were stone cold sober.  As the first official alcohol-inspired moment on Cycle 15, can I just say: FINALLY!!!  Look, if the girls drank a lil’ more, they would cat fight less.  Loosen up, ladies! This is a competition, but it's also a once in a lifetime opportunity that should be enjoyed to the fullest. Cheers!

Photo Shoot
The ladies were transformed into iconic fashion designers in this week's photo shoot with Francesco Carrozzini.  Each aspiring model posed with a professional model who wore the fashions of the designers they portrayed.  Featured designers included Vivienne Westwood, Marc Jacobs, Carolina Herrera, Alexander Wang, John Galliano, Betsey Johnson, Vera Wang, and Christophe Decarnin (House of Balmain).

   

The fabulous photoshoot styling was brought to you by industry pro, Rushka Bergman, an odd-looking Serbian fashion stylist who commanded respect.  Turns out she is the contributing fashion editor for Vogue Italia. I’m sure editor-in-chief, Franca Sozzani, will be asking her opinion on the models when it comes down to selecting who should be America’s Next Top Model.  It’s interesting seeing how Vogue Italia is subtly pre-screening the aspiring models week after week by infiltrating ANTM with their army of photographers, stylists, make-up artists, designers, and lieutenant generals.  They clearly don’t want just any hack on their cover.

This photo shoot was extremely entertaining to watch. The ladies really were transformed through costuming and make-up to closely resemble the famous designers. Good job, Rushka!  It was also fun listening to Francesco Carrozzini and his HOTT accent! Quanto mi piace gli italiani!!

Best Quotes From the Shoot

"Miss Betsey is just like me!! She's crazy; she's kooky; she's cool; she's spunky! Does that not fit me?" -- Serena (Chris) on portraying designer Betsey Johnson.

"You're a dude! You're a guy! Come on!!"  -- Francesco Carrozzini yelled to Chester (Esther) during her not so hot shoot.

Best Photo
A complete upset!! Denise Huxtable (Liz) knocks out Giraffe (Ann) and takes home best photo this week! WOW!!  Someone finally broke Ann’s streak.  Even though she couldn’t be a Grammy Girl, Denise Huxtable (Liz) has something to be proud of.  This accomplishment is going down in ANTM Statistician books everywhere!

You could tell from the critiques Denise Huxtable (Liz) received during the photo shoot, that everyone loved her performance as John Galliano:

"She became John Galliano. It was frightening because I know John, and it felt like he was in the room.  She really stepped up her game today. I just wish she knew who John Galliano was!" – Mr. J

During panel, the judges 'ooh'-ed and 'ahh'-ed over their female John Galliano impersonator.  Denise Huxtable (Liz) was told she looked like a man and liked it:

"It's a brilliant choice for you.  You absolutely caught the essence of his body gestures and the subtleties of that whole theatricality. You look like a man!" – Andre Leon Talley

"You definitely have the gift of androgyny.  There's a beautiful sexuality, a sensuality, and a strength that your bone structure leans toward that I think you should really [explore].  There's something there that is magical." – Tyra

Bottom 2
Tyra warned the contestants: "There's a big chance that the girl [who] goes home today is the girl who didn't know who the designer was."  That's total bullshit because Denise Huxtable (Liz) didn't know who John Galliano was at ALL, and she got best photo. It's more like: "There's a big chance that the girl who goes home today is the girl who took the shittiest photo – according to four people."

In the end, the Bottom 2 came down to: Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) and Chester (Esther).  Chester (Esther) started out weak in the competition but grew over time. However, the judges felt she was consistently only bringing one look. Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) had so much potential as a model, but wasn't bringing it to the set.

And the Loser Is...
Mo' Chocolate (Kendal). Oh! Didn't see that one coming!  I only started getting really worried for the Danielle Evans Cycle 6 look-alike during the photo shoot.  And, we've got to admit, she did terribly.  She got stuck in her head because she didn't know the designer:

"How can I portray a person I don't know?" -- Mo' Chocolate questioned after learning her designer was Vera Wang. 

Unable to bring any kind of expression to her face, Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) started to crash and burn.  Same Face.  Dead Eyes. No Expression. Not the kind of labels you want.  Mr. J criticized her during the shoot, saying that her expressions were registering as "blank".   

"It was just flat. Boring. And I don't think Kendal is passionate about being here." -- Mr J

Uh-oh. Talk about The Kiss of Death!!  At this point, the cards were all out.  Like thunderclaps signaling the approach of lightening, Mr. J's words echoed across the set--nay, across our very souls--warning of the imminent demise of Mo' Chocolate (Kendal).

 

During panel, Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) was accused of giving up -- another Kiss of Death:

"Kendal was not taking direction well in her body. I felt [she was] very nervous.  The idea that [she] gave me was that [she was] not trying hard enough. Because [she's] very beautiful, and it looked like, 'I'm beautiful, I'm just going to show up in front of the camera.'"
– Francesco Carrozzini  

No mo' chocolate.

It could have been her ignorance of the fashion industry that ultimately sent her home. Or perhaps it was something far simpler:

"My fear is that you are the noun not the verb. So, you were born a 'model', but you are not
'model-ing.'" – Tyra

"Kendal's problem isn't the fact that she was playing someone of the opposite race; it's the fact that she's simply not modeling." – Nigel

And so, with the flip of a photo, Mo' Chocolate (Kendal) was sent home. Tyra's parting advice was to practice taking photos with friends who could really push her farther.

"Tyra told me to practice, but...I just don't know what I’m gonna do." – Mo' Chocolate (Kendal)

Look, darling, we can't make it any clearer: you should practice!!

To Be Deeply Concerned About
Chester (Esther)

Strike 1: Labeled as having “one look.”

Strike 2:  Bottom 2 this week and has been on a downhill trajectory lately.

Strike 3: Nigel began the "she's a beautiful girl, but is she a model?" questioning. This never is a good road to go down.

Strike 4: She failed so bad this week that Tyra impersonated her fugly photo [right].

Blockhead (Jane)

Strike 1: Not posing H2T.  The judges tend to like the expressions on her face, but note her inability to connect to her body.

Strike 2: Doesn't know fashion designers.  "A Princeton girl who hasn't done her homework??" [cue shock and horror.]

Strike 3: Fell into the Bottom 3 this week and was in the Bottom 2 just two weeks ago.

Serena (Chris)

Strike 1: Still fighting the "too commercial" label from last week. However, next week is the CoverGirl commercial, so maybe this perceived detriment will end up playing in her favor?

Strike 2: Andre Leon Talley began the "is she a model?" questioning. Never good.

Chelsey (Casper)

Strike 1: "She doesn’t look like a model to me.”

Strike 2: Something terrible.

Strike 3: Something even worse.

Final Thoughts: But Are You 'Really' Qualified?
Just as we began the episode with Chelsey (Casper) needing a lesson on taking what you've got and using it to your advantage, we close with the judges needing to stop questioning whether or not the models are "really models." What's with the judges questioning half the cast?  "I like such-and-such about her, but is she really a model?" They must be suffering from I-Can't-Tell-a-Model-from-a-College-Chick-Syndrome.

Get it together judges! You picked these ladies out two months ago and it's now you're wondering about the ladies playing the part? Come on! Don't dick us around! At least pretend like they are mere "catalog models", too commercial and lowly to be considered for this high fashion gig.  That's an easier pill to swallow. Until now, your loyal viewers have been rooting for our favorite aspiring models, imagining them on the cover of Vogue Italia.  Now--now?!?--you want us to question whether half the lot is really only capable of modeling for J-14.  Look, if 50% of the models are "not really models," why not just ditch half and make it more fun? Let's have a quadruple elimination in one episode! Yeah!! ...But just don't send home my gambling model picks!